Shadowrun: The Wilson Hall Irregulars

Prologue: Malaclypse the Zeroth

A mad wizard undertakes a cross-continental quest

Mon, 16 Oct 2070, 3:30
Kennard Corner, Snohomish (Seattle Metroplex, UCAS)

Discordian pope Malaclypse the Zeroth is at home “not smoking weed” when he receives a message from none other than Mr. Johnson – it simply contains a frequency to make a return video call. Mal-0 obliges. Johnson is someone that he knows – Elvish Presley, a Discordian talismonger.

Elvish trusts Malaclypse’s discretion and abilities enough to ask him to help recover a missing sustaining focus. He doesn’t quite remember what he did last night, but as best as he can remember he went to a pool hall in Everett called the Bingo Palace. Mal-0 accepts the commission to retrieve the focus – a figurine of King Kong clutching to the side of the Empire State Building – within the week. His fee is 2,000 nuyen.

Pinehurst, Everett, 4:00

Wasting no time, Mal-0 flies to the Bingo Palace. This is a somewhat dingy place filled with tobacco smoke, with a small bar at one end of the main room. Most of the patrons are physically-fit Native Americans clad in buckskins, and seem to be suspicious types. The pope, being streetwise, knows that this is First Nations turf. The Nation have recently cut ties with the Yakuza, and are currently adrift in the Seattle underworld. Nonetheless, this means they are trying hard to establish a new reputation, and are a dangerous outfit. Malaclypse casts Influence on one who sports several feathers in his hair and introduces himself. The other man calls himself Alec Littletree. Mal-0’s instruction with the spell was for Alec to treat him as a VIP, so the two go into the break room and Alec offers a hit of a new drug he calls “tempo.” This lets the user experience astral sight – a useful substance, but Alec doesn’t have much to offer just now. He does invite Mal-0 to stick around for the beer-chugging contest, which is to be followed by a tomahawk-throwing contest. The pope declines.

Mal-0 gets down to brass tacks, discreetly inquiring if Alec knows any talismongers. Alec says that just last night, two such men met at the Palace. One of them was decked out in a strange sequined jumpsuit with a half-cape and a lightning bolt down the chest – but Mal-0 knew that. Apparently a drunken Elvish got in a fight with the other talismonger, whom Alec overheard to say that he was “Bavarian.” Mal-0 takes this man’s business card.

Snohomish Center, Snohomish, 5:15

After leaving the Bingo Palace, Malaclypse calls Elvish again, asking what he was doing with a Bavarian Illuminatus (who is probably a cabbage.) Elvish, of course, is clueless. Mal-0 lands at the thief’s lorestore, which is back in Snohomish and operates from behind an antique store front. The legitimate employees claim that their boss has taken a bullet train for a weekend trip to San Francisco. Mal-0 breaks in the lorestore just to be sure, and then informs Elvish. Presley declares that they’re going after this Illuminatus, and that he’s driving. The pair hop in Elvish’s pink Cadillac and book it to Frisco.

Wed, 18 Oct: San Francisco, CalFree

The two travel through Salish-Shidhe Council lands, Tir Tairngire, and on through the California Free State until they reach San Francisco, a journey of some two days. They spend a day hitting the streets, and get the general consensus that their Illuminatus prey has been stealing all sorts of wiz gear, and is now headed to Chicago. Mal-0 lets his judgment fail him a bit, and spends an extra day in San Francisco to get well and truly drunk for a pilgrimage to the tomb of Emperor Norton.

Fri, 20 Oct

Elvish resists the urge to make a side trip to Las Vegas as they trek across Mal-0’s home nation, the Pueblo Corporate Council. The trip through the Mojave desert is grueling, and at one point an air spirit threatens the Cadillac. Elvish plots a course to enter UCAS through the Oklahoma panhandle, avoiding Sioux territory.

Tue, 24 Oct: Chicago Zone, UCAS

The Discordian duo finally arrives in the feral wasteland that once was Chicago. Using their astral sight, they are able to avoid packs of ghouls, hives of insect spirits, and cyberzombies. Elvish mentions the prospect of hazard pay.

They find the anonymous Bavarian Illuminatus wearing a cloak emblazoned with the All-Seeing Eye, gesturing over a triangular pattern of magical bric-a-brac. Mal-0 hits him with a Crush spell, shrugs off the countering Stunbolt, and finishes his opponent off. Mal-0 pulls off his opponent’s robe, and is disappointed to note that he was not a cabbage. Elvish retrieves his focus and awards Mal-0 2,500¥ for his troubles. The drive home is long, since Elvish again refuses to cross Sioux country, instead veering north into Algonkian-Manitou lands.

Mon, 30 Oct: Kennard Corner, Snohomish

Having served the Society and his cabal, Malaclypse the Zeroth is formally (for a Discordian) initiated into the Legion of Dynamic Discord as a POEE Priest.


Malaclypse the Zeroth: 2,500¥, 3 Karma, Initiation Rank 1 (Discordian), Contact: Elvish Presley (Loyalty 3/Connection 2 talismonger)



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